Raiders

Last week, Laura and I were either watching or listening to the Raiders game. At the end of a play, the Raider's tight end was slow getting up. While he was still on the ground, the commentator said, "The Raiders certainly can't afford to lose him."

Dear Commentator,

What the fuck does that mean? Are you referring to this particular game? They're down by 3 touchdowns with 4 minutes left. Are you referring to their season? Their something like 3-11. Are you implying their hopes of finishing the season with 4 wins have been dashed?

Not only can the Raiders "afford to lose" their tight end, they can afford to lose the entire team! In fact, if the entire team was lost in a plane crash, they couldn't do much worse. Seriously, if the Raiders will rebuilt next year from an expansion draft, they could probably win 5 games.

Thanks

Jason "Raider Hater" Tray-Dog

What Did You Say?

Laura, Steph, and I had dinner at Extreme Pita. They sell pitas in either 6" or 9" sizes. Laura was finishing hers rather fast and Steph was lagging behind. Steph noticed this, turned to Laura and asked "Did you get six inches? 'Cause I got nine inches and it's taking me longer."

Steph is a dirty, dirty bird.

Old Age Is A Bitch

My mother and father in-laws are going through a phase in which every time you suggest going some place, they're afraid there won't be any parking.

My own mother can't find trash bags to fit her trash can. I took a closer look and realized that she's using a laundry hamper. I thought she would have been clued in by the holes in the side of the basket, not to mention the sticker on the side that reads "Hamper".

In their defense, around 5pm today, I realized that I had been wearing 2 different shoes the entire day. Lucky for me I never left the house.

Ketchup on Eggs

Went fishing this morning, caught 4 fish. Came home, started some bacon while cleaning my fish. Scrambled some eggs but undercooked them a little. By the time I put some ketchup on the eggs, I had a red, mushy pulp that resembled the fish guts I just threw away.

I didn't finish my eggs...

New TV Show?

When the Comcast cable guide abbreviates a show's title, "Flip This House" becomes "Flip This...". I think the abbreviated version sounds like a better show.

Predicting The Next Sharks Game

Their last 6 games:

Saturday, 11-22-08, Sharks won 7-2
Wednesday, 11-26-08, Sharks won 3-2
Friday, 11-28-08, Sharks won 6-2
Saturday, 11-29-08, Sharks won 3-2
Tuesday, 12-2-08, Sharks won 5-2
Thursday, 12-4-08, Sharks won 3-2

This coming Saturday, 12-6-08, I predict the Sharks will win by the score of...

Something-2

Yep, You're Going to Hell

I'm not a religious man, but I do believe there's some big picture that none of us are seeing.

With that being said, a man was killed on Friday as 2,000 shoppers stormed into a Walmart in the wee hours of the morning so they could save a few bucks on their electronics. The man was literally trampled to death. This happens every year but usually nobody dies. We hear the stories of elderly people getting walked over, people stepping on pregnant women, all to save money on some electronics or other goodies.

These people aren't running on a primal instinct to survive. It's not like there's a food shortage and they're fighting each other for food off a truck. There's no epidemic that's killing people and they're not fighting for medicine. They're just greedy pigs that are willing to kill other people in order to get a flat panel TV.

People tell me that no matter how well I treat others, no matter how much I help the planet or improve life for the unfortunate, I'm going to hell because I don't believe that Jesus died for our sins. That's fine, I'm not too worried about it. But I gotta tell ya, I don't care if you DO believe in Jesus, you're consumer greed got you a first class ticket to hell on the seat next to me. I've never killed anyone for a microwave.